Whose Idea Was This?
by Kaliae
Summary: Snape and Boromir are stranded on Island together. NOT SLASH. First fic, 2nd chapter up. upped rating for swearing (91404)
1. Default Chapter

A/N: This is not a matter of how they got there, just more rather they did.

Disclaimer: I do not own Professor Snape or Boromir, as they are own by J.K Rowling and J.R.R. Tolkien, respectably. I do not make a profit but more rather make them my little puppets and force them to play, maybe not nicely, but they must play.

An Odd Twist of Fate 

Severus Snape silently walked up behind the three Gryffindors who were talking in hushed tones. Severus walked up to them without being heard and then took out his wand and whispered_, "Lumos." _The sudden light obviously shocked the "Golden Trio" and after they had slowly turned around to face what they thought was Snape, they were surprised to see the hallway empty. Harry looked at the map with an odd expression and said, "_Revolio passe 30 seconds" _a spell which would display what happened, or would happen depending on the form of the spell used for the given amount of time. The three studied the map as they saw Snape approach them then his name disappeared instantly from the map. The three looked at each other, and they swallowed, then turned to one another and continued their way to the kitchens for a snack. Hermione turned to Ron, "You were supposed to watch behind us!"

"Oops..." Ron said guiltily

"Oops? Ronald, you're unbelievable!" Hermione said back at him,

"At least he's gone, wherever he went off to." Harry pointed out.

"True," Ron and Hermione said at the same time.

Boromir found Frodo and he was about to grab him and command him give the ring when he was unexpectedly placed in front of a rather tall man dressed in all black, with a deathly glare on his face making the oddest demand.

"Give me the map, Potter!"

At that time, Boromir found himself saying, "Baggins, the Ring, now!"

"What ring? Who are you and what are you doing at Hogwarts? Who's Baggins? I don't believe I've heard of him."

"What map? What's a howarts?"

"Hog warts is the school at which I teach, three students have this map, have you seen them? One is a boy has dark hair and lightening shaped scar, a rather pretty girl with bushy hair, and another boy with very red hair."

"Frodo Baggins is a hobbit who has the ring I need to survive, my essence, my being. I'm not at a school, I am a knight for the realm of Gondor! Why do you need a map?


	2. A Strange Beginning

A/N: I apologize for any grammatical errors before I start the story. Not only am I incapable of typing, I have no beta to fix my mistakes... Oh well. Oh and on a side note, my space bar is completely messed up for some reason and it will make two spaces instead of one. It really is quite annoying.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter, I wish I did, but you don't always get what you wish for.

**Whose Idea Was This?**

Chapter 1: A Strange Beginning

Boromir stared at the strange man before him. He was at a complete loss for words. There was no explanation to why he was here, and why he was here with this, to put it lightly, bat-like person.

"So you're a teacher?" Boromir asked him, "At this school, Wogharts?"

The man grunted in what seemed to frustration, in a strained voice, he said, "Yes, I am a teacher, at Hogwarts. We've been over this already."

"Yes, terribly sorry," Boromir said, although it was quite obvious he was not sorry at all, "So, you teach potions do you? Must be an incredibly easy class."

It was very fortunate Snape was not drinking anything at the moment, or it would have been spewed all over Boromir and the surrounding area. "I'll have you know," Snape said very coldly, "That my class, is the hardest, most challenging, stressful class you would be least likely to pass, and I enjoy marking students down for the fun. Unless of course, they are in my house." Snape finished as if it were common sense.

"You keep students in your house? What kind of school is this?" Boromir asked, clearly confused, then with a sudden realization, "Can I teach there?"

Snape asked, "Are you a wizard?"

"No, but a man I was traveling with, Gandalf, is a wizard." Boromir said, hoping it was enough.

"Sorry to say, that currently the only position open is Potions Professor," Snape spat with strong demise, "and when I get back, I plan to resume that position."

"If," Boromir said plainly.

"What do you mean, 'if'?" Snape questioned the shorter man.

Boromir looked at Snape and with a very straight face and with a serious tone he said, "You said 'when I get back...' I'm saying it's IF we get back."

"There's only room for one pessimistic on this island, and I can assure you, its not going to be you."


	3. Just A Bit of Fish

A/N: I know the past two chapters were rather...short. I apologize to those who are distraught over this fact. Hopefully this one and those that follow will be longer.

Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. Not Snape nor Boromir, not even the stories which they come from. If you find someone who does and is not the author, though, have him or her contact me and tell me how they did it so I CAN claim it has my own.

**Whose Idea Was This?**

Chapter 3: Just A Bit of Fish

Severus jumped towards the fish, rather ungracefully for that matter too. Boromir watched him struggled and chuckled to himself and he watched the man in black awkwardly fumble with the fish. Although he was currently sharpening a stick he had found just for this purpose, first, he thought he'd let Seviekins at least try at catch some fish. He chuckled to himself as dear ol' Sevie dropped the fish and the fish swam away with an almost sashay flip of it's fins.

"Having fun?" Boromir asked Snape,

"Does it look like I'm having fun? Because I'm really not." Snape replied,

Boromir retorted, "Au contraire, it appeared to me as if you were having an absolutely smashing time!"

"I'm not going to even acknowledge that with an answer." Snape snapped back at him.

Boromir laughed quietly, "I believe you just did."

Severus just glared at him, mumbling too himself. Boromir couldn't determine most of what he said but he what he could understand only made him laugh more. A lot of it had to do with him, his children, and his mother, and he was pretty sure he had never done any of it. " In a bit of a grumpy mood," Boromir asked not quite innocently, "aren't we?"

Boromir found himself at the brutal end of one Sevie's well-known stares, at least for the Gryffindors. This unfortunately only made Boromir laugh louder, which only added to Snape's quite obvious frustration.

Snape all but yelled at Boromir, "Well, why don't you bloody get your arse in here and try catching the damn fish."

Boromir just shrugged calmly, "All you had to do was ask."

Boromir watched and Sevie gaped at him as he just walked up to the edge with his stick, look around and throw his hand-made spear into the water, right into the back of the fish. He chuckled as Snape stood there, speechless until, "Well, I didn't have a knife," he instead, "you obviously have an advantage."

"Your loss not mine." Boromir stated flatly.

At this point Severus realized he would no win this battle and asked resignedly, "Can you catch me a fish?"

Boromir contemplated this for a moment, then responded, "No, I don't think I will."

Snape could just stared at him, mouth open, appalled that Boromir had just said that. He watched as he slowly walked up to himself, and then Boromir closed Snape mouth by lifting Sev's chin with his index finger.

Boromir looked at him and then very forcefully placed his sharpened stick in Sevie's hand, "Catch it yourself, if you can."

Snape quietly said, "Of course I can catch one, it's easy, they're just fish." Dear old Sevs through the sharpened piece of wood at an idly swimming by, it wobbled then suck into the water.

Boromir laughed loudly at this, he started to walk away with his fish as Snape struggled with his wooden stick, and told him in between his laughs, "Of course you can, it's just a bit of fish."


	4. I Will Survive

A/N: I know, I know, send your hate mail later though. I have been busy beyond belief (Woot for alliterations) and have been unable to get working on this. In addition, while trying to work on this, I have suffered numerous computer changes and what I had was deleted, then deleted again after I got on it again, well, lets hope this works.

Disclaimer: I have no money whatsoever! NONE! I write fan fiction for heaven's sake! How on earth could I be in possession of Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings and be broke? (note: that's a rhetorical question…) And the song is not mine either, and if you haven't heard of this song, not only have you been living under a rock, but you need a change in the music you listen to, it's " I will Survive" by Gloria Glaynor.

**Whose Idea Was This?**

**Chapter 4: I Will Survive**

Snape glared the biggest daggers he could toward his island mate, but Boromir seemed to be unaffected. Either that or he was enjoying 30 pound Marlon while Snape picked at his 8 pound trout. Snape knew he had to somehow get him back, somehow annoy him beyond belief, somehow piss him off, and irritate him more than Hades in a hat. He watched as Boromir took a big chunk of his charred fish, while some juice dribbled down his chin, and Snape bit back the snarl threatening to be produced from his throat. _Don't worry_, Snape thought to himself,_ I will survive. _The thought triggered another memory, the time Minerva got pissed at the end of the year staff party back a few a years, and started singing a song, thanks to his strangely accurate memory, Snape remembered every word.

So he sang, "First I was afraid, I was petrified." Sure he sang softly, but he was singing. He noticed Boromir's lack of attention so he sang louder, "Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side."

Boromir looked up, thinking he heard something and saw dear ol' Sevvie singing. Wait, What! Boromir had a feeling this guy wouldn't sing even it a sharpened knife was put up to his throat and he was chained to 5000 ton boulder. Then he heard what he was singing more clearly "But I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong," But they hadn't spent a full day here yet! This was absolutely upsurd! "I grew strong, I learned how to get along." What was he talking about, he barely had enough food for a humming bird!

Snape watched Boromir's growing confusion and kept singing "And so you're back, from outer space, I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face" Ha! Revenge was so sweet!

Wait, what sad look? I'm not sad! Boromir's thought protested loudly. What is this crazy man talking about, I never gave him a key! "Stop Singing!" Boromir yelled at Snape, but Snape kept singing, "...If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me..." Boromir attempted to respond, "You've just met me how can I come back?"

Snape sang loudly, " Go on now, Go walk out the door"

Boromir protested, "There is NO door!"

"Just turn around now, 'cause you're not welcome anymore" Snape continued singing.

"I can't exactly leave!" Boromir continued to object.

"Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye." Snape went on.

"I never said goodbye to you, but believe me if I could, I would." Boromir complained.

"You think I'd grumble, You think I'd lay down and die, Oh no not I." Snape sang as her started to stand up.

Boromir couldn't believe this, "No, but I really wish you would!."

"I will Survive, as long as know how to loved I know I will stay alive." At this point, Snape was overcome with an urge to dance. A rather odd urge, but Snape started to sway his hips and move his shoulders to the tune of the dance. And of course he knew how to dance, he was a Snape after all. Not to be mistaken with Malfoy's or Goyle's from any stretch.

Boromir was thrown off even more by this. Not only was this man dancing, but he was a damn good dance.

"I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give." Snape sang proudly while continuing to dance with sultry moves.

Boromir watched this with growing horror and resisted the urge to vomit. Wait… did he just say 'love' twice… Boromir feel that marlin want to rejoin the ocean.

"And I'll survive, yeah I will survive!" Snape sang as he watched with great amusement that Boromir's face started to turn a greenish tinge. "It took all the strength I had not to fall apart."

Boromir started to get control of his stomach, and the nauseated feeling left him with an utter hate for Snape.

"Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart." Snape controlled his laugh and kept singing as he saw the common look of hatred directed at him. "And I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself, I used to cry, now I hold my head up high."

"You bastard! You bloody bastard! Shut up! Stop it! We haven't even been here one fucking day!" Boromir yelled fiercely at Snape.

But none of this swayed Snape, in fact he was quite used to it. "And you see me, somebody new, I'm not that chained little person, so still in love with you."

"You and I both know bloody well you never loved me!" Boromir proclaimed

"And so you felt like dropping in, and you expect me to be free, Now I'm saving all my loving for someone who's loving me!" Snape sang loudly and he concluded his song and dance.

Boromir unable to stand it anymore walks over to Snape, spits on his shoe and walks away.

The Nerve! These are my favorite shoes too, Snape thought.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I am terrible at posting regularly. When I was younger, I couldn't even keep a diary! I noticed a small tick in the numbering of chapters, what was supposed to be 2 was titled 3, I don't have the desire to go back and fix it so we will be sticking to that numbering. Well without much further ado, I bring you,

**Whose Idea Was This?**

**Chapter 5: Nightmares and Dreams of the Like **(Part 1)

I'm so glad it's at least decent here. Snape thought to himself. It's a little warm, but it's bearable. Except for him. Snape glared at the man across the island and bit back a snarl. He is so infuriating, so beneath me. Doesn't deserve to be in my presence. Snape continued his "the world should bend down for me" speech in his head while he got some palm tree leaves and sticks for a suitable place to lye on that night. He usually had some dreamless sleep potion he brewed so he would dream about the Dark Lord, or worse, what he, himself had done. He lay down and looked the stars, he figured he'd be awake for while pondering this.

Well, he's been wrong so many times this day, why should this be different. The moment his eyes to started to blink, he soon feel into a deep sleep.

_Snape walked through Hogwarts doing his normal rounds and checking for students he could harass. Only he was back in his seventh year body. He walked around and spied a couple in the corner clawing at each other. Both his and hers clothes were starting to come off, and there faces were glued to each other. Instead of reprimanding, he watched. He watched the boys hand go up the girls skirt and Snape felt a strange pressure beneath his belt, started to turn away, when someone pressed up against him. He looked up into the face of Sirius Black. Now how fair was this? Why did he get stuck in a body an underdeveloped version of himself, while that vile creature got to be full grown? Snape spat in his face as he spoke, "What do you want?"_

_"Just to make sure you're doing fine, Snivellus" Sirius glowered._

_"I'm better off than you are, stuck behind a bloody curtain. Did the curtain let you out for a break? Or is still just a big mean ol' curtain? How does it feel to be stopped by a curtain, some bloody sheets?"_

_Sirius just chuckled, "How does it feel to be stuck on an island where the only other person there is better than you at everything?"_

_"Don't make me get a curtain!" Snape responded._

_"How about we go down to the kitchen and get some fish?" Sirius said, "Or do you need your precious Boromir for that?"_

_Snape lunged at Sirius and started to choke him._

_Sirius in a calm voice, "A lot of good that does you, I'm already dead." After saying that Sirius dissolved into thin air._

_Snape turned and saw the two people he was watching earlier walk past him, the clothes back on with goofy smiles on their faces. He watched in shock as one headed toward Gryffindor tower and the other towards the Slytherin dorms. What next. Boromir professing his love to me?_

_Ewww._

_He really hoped not. Snape shivered and feel deeper into sleep._


End file.
